top of page

A Therapist's Pre-Marital Checklist for a Healthy Marriage

Updated: Jan 23

Getting married is a major life decision that requires careful consideration and planning. While many couples focus on the wedding day, it's important to also consider the many years that come after the ceremony. That's why pre-marital counseling is becoming increasingly popular among engaged couples. A therapist can help couples identify potential issues before they become big problems and provide guidance for building a strong and healthy marriage. Here's a pre-marital checklist from a therapist to help you get started.

Communication Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. It's important for couples to be able to express their thoughts and feelings in a way that is respectful and honest. Here are some questions to ask each other to assess your communication skills and identify areas for improvement:

  • How do we communicate when we're upset?

  • Do we listen to each other without interrupting?

  • How do we express our needs and wants?

  • Do we speak kindly and respectfully to each other?

Conflict Resolution All marriages have disagreements from time to time, but the way couples handle these disagreements can make all the difference. Healthy conflict resolution involves both partners feeling heard and understood. Here are some questions to ask each other to assess your conflict resolution skills and identify areas for improvement:

  • How do we handle disagreements?

  • Do we take turns listening to each other's perspectives?

  • Do we compromise or find solutions that work for both of us?

  • Do we escalate arguments or walk away to cool down?

Finances Money can be a source of stress in a marriage. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to financial goals and habits. Here are some questions to ask each other to assess your financial compatibility:

  • What are our long-term financial goals?

  • How do we manage our money day-to-day?

  • How much debt do we have, and how do we plan to pay it off?

  • Do we have similar attitudes towards saving and spending?

Intimacy Physical and emotional intimacy are important aspects of a healthy marriage. Couples should be able to openly communicate about their needs and preferences in this area. Here are some questions to ask each other to assess your intimacy needs:

  • What do we each consider to be intimacy?

  • How often do we want to be intimate?

  • What makes us feel loved and connected?

  • How do we express our affection for each other?

Shared Values Shared values and beliefs can help couples navigate life's challenges together. It's important to identify areas where you have common ground and potential areas of conflict. Here are some questions to ask each other to assess your shared values:

  • What do we each value most in life?

  • How do our religious or spiritual beliefs align?

  • What are our opinions on controversial topics, such as politics or social issues?

  • How do we plan to raise our children, if we want them?

Conclusion Pre-marital counseling and a pre-marital checklist can help couples strengthen their relationship before getting married. Use this checklist as a starting point for conversations with your partner. Remember, the goal is not to avoid all conflict, but to learn how to handle it in a healthy way. With the right tools and mindset, you can build a strong and healthy marriage that will last a lifetime.


premarital counseling

Comments


bottom of page